Why Are Some People Able To Think Positive All The Time
You’ve probably known someone who seemed to be able to think positive all the time. No matter how bad things seemed or how far a situation spiraled out of control, that person could always engage in positive thinking and exhibit confidence that everything would turn out fine. Perhaps you’ve wished you could be more like that person. The good news is that you can. Positive thinking isn’t a rare gift, it’s a habit that you or anyone else can develop through learning how to correct negative self talk.
Self talk refers to the thoughts that go through our heads all day as we respond to the events in our lives. The self talk that we use tends to be based on what we learned as children. Often, parents unintentionally teach children negative self talk. A parent who always fears something bad will happen to their child, for instance, may fill that child’s head with catastrophic thoughts. Or a parent who engages in harsh criticism may teach a child to blame themselves for everything that happens.
Cognitive psychologists have identified several errors in thinking that go into negative self talk. You can learn to think positively by challenging these errors in thinking and replacing them with more positive (and accurate) thoughts and ideas.
One of the most common errors in thinking is seeing the world in black and white. A thing is either good or it’s bad. People who see the world in this way may view a mistake as the end of the world instead of a valuable learning opportunity. Or they may talk themselves into having a completely bad day, just because one thing went wrong early in the morning. You can challenge black and white thinking by remembering that nothing is either all good or all bad. Make it a point to find the good even in negative situations.
Another common error in thinking is blaming oneself for every negative outcome and giving credit to outside influences for positive outcomes. For instance if a student who thinks this way flunks a test, she will probably think, “I’m so stupid.” If she passes the test with a high mark, however, she will probably think, “I got lucky.” You can teach yourself to think positive by making sure to give yourself credit for the things you do right. Instead of attributing a high test score to luck, the student might think instead, “I studied hard and did a very good job.” When you do make a mistake, identify what went wrong and how you will correct the problem the next time. Thus the student who flunks the test might think, “Uh-oh, I didn’t study enough for that test. I’ll study harder next time and get a better score.”
One last thinking error is called catastrophizing. People who catastrophize always imagine the worst possible outcome. An employee who doesn’t complete an assignment on time, for instance, may think, “Now my boss hates me. He’ll probably fire me. And I’ll never get another job.” In the space of a few seconds, the employee has gone-in thought, anyway-from making a correctable error to being permanently unemployed! You can avoid by catastrophizing by putting a leash on your imagination when it starts to run wild with negative thoughts. Instead, force yourself to think of the most positive outcome. “I’ve learned a valuable lesson about time management. Next time, I’ll get the report done early and amaze my boss.”
If you want to be like those positive people you admire, work on learning to replace your negative self talk with positive thinking. Being able to always think positive will see you through almost any difficult situation.